night is my new day

i’m very depressed since about a week. it’s dark and fucking cold, my bones are aching, my brain is freezing, tinnitus is screaming in my right ear, i have very bad dreams about death, kills, maggots, loneliness and drowning. i sleep for only three or four hours a day, i wake up every thirty minutes and then it needs an hour for falling asleep again. i see no future right now, i think, i will stay in my room for the next four or five months til it gets warmer outside. hell couldn’t be more negative, death is just an illusion and live sucks. i think i give my brain a little vacation…